Happy Memories of Brother Nicholas Dobbelsteyn, C.Ss.R.
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August 9, 2023Brother Nicholas was one of our most beloved Brothers, loved by everyone who met him, he was a gentle soul born in Masstricht Holland on July 8, 1887. He was a small thin man. In his lifetime he was a shoemaker, Sergeant in the Dutch army from 1917-1919, chef in our seminary and college and office manager or as we called him the porter in our parishes.
Dementia began to change his life in the early 1970s' although he always remained a happy person. It took fifteen of us to look after him at Holy Redeemer College in Windsor, ON which had almost 200 rooms for him to explore. Brother Nicholas brought much joy to the community because everyone was looking out for his safety and welfare and we often shared stories with one another about what Br Nicholas had done that day.
Now I will tell you some of his exploits that made us all laugh.
The Missing Sunday Collection
Br. Nicholas was stationed at Our Lady of the Assumption Parish in Toronto where he looked after the Sunday collection, answered the door and phone and looked after the sacristy and dining room. After counting the collection on Sundays, he hid it for safekeeping until it could be deposited in the bank. Well there was a time when he forgot where he hid the collection. Fr Mason the Pastor and a staff member searched the rectory and it took them a quite a while to find it.
Vocation Team, as well as all those who are discerning a call to join us in this mission of evangelization. May the Lord of the harvest hear our prayer.
The Missing DenturesBr Nicholas enjoyed helping to dry the dishes as they came out of our commercial dishwasher. This was one of the first funny events he created. Br Nicholas was drying dishes with Fr Des Scanlan our Superior. At some point Br Nicholas said to Fr Scanlan "Fadder (he called everyone Fadder) "I can't find my upper dentures."
So, a desperate search was begun of the area because it was presumed the dentures had just gone missing. This included a search of more than 100 freshly washed and stacked soup bowls. Not finding the dentures in the soup bowls or anywhere else, Fr Scanlan suggested he & Br Nicholas go to Nick's bedroom to look.
So up to the third-floor community wing Fr Scanlan and Br Nicholas went. After searching Br Nicholas's bedroom thoroughly Fr Scanlan found the missing dentures sitting on the window sill by the open window. "Oh, there they are" said Br Nicholas. "I was just airing them out Fadder!"
Br Nicholas wandered at night which was a great concern for us. We would find him in situations where he could have fallen and injured himself. Br Nicholas was a cook in his younger days and one morning at 6 AM he was found in the kitchen after having been up during the night cooking a meal for sixty people.
The Night BellBr. Charles Hutchison, who had a bedroom directly across from Br Nicholas came up with a brilliant idea to curb Br Nicholas' night time roaming, I can't imagine why I didn't think of this first. Br Charles asked Br Edgar to hook up an old fashioned doorbell above his bed and connect it to a pressure button on Br Nicholas' bedroom door. The theory was that every time Br Nicholas got up during the night & opened his door, the bell would wake up Br Charles & Br Charles would get up and tell Br Nicholas to go back to bed. Simple. Right?
Well Br Nicholas opened his bedroom door eight times that night and a sleepy & discouraged Br. Charles disconnected the doorbell first thing the next morning.
Another one of his funny moments took place at his 50th Anniversary of Religious Profession at Holy Redeemer College. Br Nicholas was seated at the banquet table beside Fr Frank Maloney our Provincial Superior.
Everyone's dessert, apple pie with a slice of cheddar cheese, was already beside the plate when we sat down. Br Nicholas ate his dinner, ate his dessert, ate Fr Maloney's dessert and was trying to cut up his paper napkin before anyone noticed what he was doing! (And that was not the first time he tried to eat his paper napkin.)
Later Br Nicholas opened his practical gifts from the community. He opened a gift of socks, another one of PJs. He stared at those and declared "I was wondering where I put them."
The Hospital VisitOnce when we had to admit Br Nicholas to the hospital because of his compacted bowels, Fr Scanlan cautioned the nursing staff that Br Nicholas was a wanderer and they said not to worry they would look after him. Well later that evening Br Nicholas was out of his PJs and fully dressed and at the nursing station asking "Sister what time is Mass?" The nurse took him back to his ward, got him back in his PJs, took his clothes out of the room and tied the door so he could not open it ... or so she thought. A while later Br Nicholas was back at the nursing station wearing another patient's clothes that were twice his size asking "Sister what time is Mass?"
He came home from the hospital a few days later telling us he had a wonderful Retreat but the other Brothers in the room were lazy and never got out of bed even once during the Retreat.One day Br Edgar asked Br Nicholas to help him gather up some brush from the bushes he had trimmed. They had the tractor and trailer parked outside the breakfast room windows.
My sister Joanne was there visiting me. Joanne was looking out the breakfast room window watching Br Edgar and Br Nicholas working when suddenly she yelled "Look Br. Nicholas is streaking."
We all got up to look and saw Br. Nicholas with his pants down to his ankles. It seems that when Br Nicholas raised his arms to throw brush into the trailer his belt came loose and his pants dropped like a rock to his ankles.
One day Br Charles met Br Nicholas in the corridor wearing eight T-shirts one on top of the other and Charlie helped him take seven of them off. On another day he was wearing just a bed sheet wrapped around himself with nothing on underneath and said to Br Charles "Don't tell me to take this off because God told me to wear it."
Another time someone left their religious habit spread out on their bed & left the door open. When Br Nicholas saw the habit, he thought it was a dead Confrere and came to the kitchen to tell us someone had died.
Irene Jessop, one of our delightful staff who were all like family to us, was dry mopping the dining room and she asked Br Nicholas to come with her to hold the self-locking front door open while she shook out her dry mop.
Br Nicholas happily went along to hold the door open. But when Irene turned around after shaking the mop Br Nicholas was standing right behind her, and both of them were locked out! Irene rang the doorbell and Virginia Turner, our Secretary, another wonderful long-time member of our staff, let them in and all three were laughing after Irene explained to Virginia what happened.
One evening the brothers had gathered in the breakfast room for their usual evening tea when Br Nicholas came in to tell them that there was a very old Brother in the Chapel who had not eaten in days and they should bring him down to the dining room and feed him. No one present could imagine who this old Brother could be. Br Al Downey went with Br Nicholas to the chapel to see who this old Brother was. When they arrived in the chapel they walked up to the front to where I was praying. Br Al Downey explained Br Nicholas' concern for me and Br Nicholas insisted I go with him. Br Nick took me by the arm and escorted me to the breakfast room to get me something to eat.
Br Nicholas had a great singing voice and he was often singing or humming a tune. I pressed the elevator button one time and Br Nicholas was standing inside humming to himself waiting for the elevator to go somewhere.
The Ladies RestroomThe Ursuline Sisters rented our classrooms on the second floor to teach music to children. Every June they had a recital for the parents. On this Recital Day Br Nicholas decided to use the Ladies Restroom that every parent had to pass by in order to get to the upstairs classrooms. That Ladies Restroom had a high cement ceiling which amplified the most delicate sounds.So, on this hot June day as the parents filed by they heard a beautiful male voice singing all the verses of "Oh Holy Night" over and over again behind the Ladies Restroom Door!Breakfast
Brother Edward who was four years older than Br Nicholas appointed himself Br Nicholas' breakfast dietitian. After morning Mass, he would sit Br Nicholas down at the breakfast table and would place before him a bowl of cereal & milk, a glass of orange juice, a dish of stewed prunes to keep him regular and a cup of watered-down coffee. (Br Edward did not believe people should drink full strength coffee.)
While Br Edward was making all this fuss over Br Nicholas' breakfast Br Nicholas was sitting there smiling saying "Thank You Fadder, Thank you Fadder."
Once Br Edward was satisfied all was in order he left the breakfast room to go pray in the chapel. As soon as the door closed behind Br Edward, Br Nicholas got up from the table and poured the watered down coffee into the sink and filled his cup with full strength coffee from the coffee urn. Br Nicholas might have been confused at times but he knew how he liked his coffee!
Br Nicholas was passing through the kitchen one day wearing his hat. I said "Where are you going Br Nicholas?" He said "I don't know but I will know when I get there!"
Br Nicholas thought it was his job to clear the snow from our front walk in an area as big as a small parking lot. Br Edgar had a plow on the tractor to clear the walkway. Telling Br Nicholas this didn't help deter him from trying to shovel it. We would find him out shoveling snow with only a suit jacket on over his street clothes to keep him warm & we would bring him in, trying to explain that Br Edgar would clear the snow. I would take him to his bedroom and tell him it was time to take a nap. Ten minutes later he was out there again. This became an ongoing concern for us every winter.
After three years it became clear that 15 of us could not provide the care and safety that Br Nicholas' needed. In 1975 a decision was regretfully made to place Br Nicholas in Huron Lodge Nursing Home, in a secured wing for his own safety. On his first day there he got out. That was scary because Huron Lodge is on busy highway 3 with a lot of international traffic going to and from the Detroit/Windsor Ambassador Bridge.
Even in Huron Lodge Br Nicholas thought he was in one of our Redemptorist houses. One day Br Edward Kelly and I were visiting Br Nicholas. He told us he had been talking to Br Edward upstairs that morning even though Br Edward was standing there in front of him. Then he wanted us to look out his window with him. He said "see, I saw the Sisters leave the convent this morning (he was pointing to a small apartment building) and go to the church across the street.” (He was pointing to the Tim Hortons')
He was happy in his own world there. He even joined the Huron Lodge Choir which would be a joy for him because he loved to sing.
Br Nicholas died of old age while a resident of Huron Lodge on January 27 TH 1980. He was 93 years old. Our Provincial Chapter Delegates were arriving at Holy Redeemer College for their meeting the same evening Br Nicholas died.
So, we had a wonderful Redemptorist presence for his Funeral Mass at Holy Redeemer College Chapel. A second funeral Mass was celebrated in Saint John, NB at St Peter's Redemptorist Church because Br Nicholas had many family members living there and in other parts of New Brunswick. Br Nicholas is buried in our Redemptorist plot behind St Peter's Church.It was my pleasure and delight to have known Brother Nicholas.
